I see many clients and couples who have had or want to have threesomes. Throughout this work I found myself repeating many of the same things. I decided I might as well write it all down and make it available to everyone!
I am excited that my book “How About a Threesome” A Preparation Guide & Workbook for Couples is finally available.
The book covers the Seven Stages to a Successful Threesome, including insights, resources, discussion questions, and worksheets for you and your partner to complete.
Seven Stages to a Successful Threesome
- Learn and share. Learn about your own wants, needs, and desires. Learn about your partner’s. Learn about risks and guard factors for you and your partner. Learn about health and protection. Learn about the threesome process and how to prepare so that it is safe and fulfilling. Reflect and be real with yourself about what you want to get out of the experience, how you want it to impact your relationship, and what is motivating your interest. Share learning and insights with your partner.
- Discuss and negotiate. Based on what was learned and shared, discuss and negotiate your expectations and needs. What things do you want to have happen, and what things are you not comfortable with doing? Logistics, such as location, sexual acts, protection, who your Third is/might be, and stop signs. What are your non-negotiables?
- Plan. Develop a plan with your partner about how you will meet your Third, stay healthy, and engage in aftercare. Make your agreements and guarantees about logistics, boundaries, communication, etc. Complete a written contract, if you choose.
- Build up. Continue to talk and stay connected. Get excited as the plan is put in motion.
- Engage. Engage in experience as agreed.
- Aftercare. Engage in aftercare as agreed.
- Debrief. Debrief about experience.
POW! Psychotherapy 
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